Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Dealing With Difficult People

Do you ever get an email or a phone call from someone and when you see it you think, “No! I just don’t have the emotional strength to deal with (him or her) right now.”  It is not that you dislike or like the person but because you know the interaction will always leave you feeling downbeat and annoyed.  Dealing with difficult people can be grueling.  No matter what the topic is – you, them, someone else or something else - you know the exchange will be exhausting, to say the least. The subject of difficult people keeps popping up more and more often and today I saw a post on a friend’s Facebook page concerning the same thing and it got me to contemplating why this source of tension often creeps into our lives and what impact it has on us.  As I sit and reflect on the difficulties in life I know there is a purpose in them even if we can't see what they are and I wanted to share my thoughts.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Are you afraid to talk to others about God?

The other day I blogged my first post with my answer to the question "Do you have to go to church to be spiritual?" I confess I was very hesitant about posting it. Not because I was afraid to talk about my love of Jesus but because I bared some personal stuff which I don't do except with my most trusted friends. When I began writing the post I didn't intend for it to be a long post and certainly didn't intend to include such personal details. However, while I was writing I kept hearing God speak and knew what I was writing was not good enough. I kept writing and re-writing until I knew the only way I could get my point across was to include what He had done for me, including the pain I have endured. So many times people look at Christians and think "Of course it is easy for them to have faith...they have such a great life." Well, that's not the case. Every person has a story. Every person deals with trials, struggles and bad stuff in their life. It is how you choose to deal with it that makes the difference. Having God on my side and in my life allows me to deal with things from a different perspective. Rather than walking around moping with a frown all the time and focusing on the negative saying "Why me? Nothing will ever get better.", I can focus on the good in my life and say with a smile "Thank you, dear Lord, for what you have given me. I trust in You and the plans You have for me." My prayer for anyone that knows God is to teach others about His love and grace...even in the midst of trials. Why? Because we believe what God says. We believe what God says about Himself and believe what He says about us. It takes an act of faith. Everyone has faith in something or someone. I've never seen God, but I know He is. Just as I've never seen the wind - but I've heard it blow soft and hard and felt it on my face. I believe God. I believe He is perfect. He makes no mistakes. He has a perfect plan for my life and for yours. I believe God's ways are higher than our ways. This is why we need to not be afraid to talk to others about Him. If I had any hesitation in posting what was laid on my heart, any doubts that I was hearing Him right are gone. So if you have any doubts about telling others about your love for Jesus, don't! Let me tell you why...God WILL use you in a powerful way. I am so amazed and humbled to know that my post touched someone and I had to share it with you so you could understand the affirmation that God will work through you.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Do you have to go to church to be spiritual? My answer...

I recently heard someone say “you don’t have to go to church to be spiritual.” True, God is certainly sufficient to care for our needs and we can still get to heaven if we don't go to church; however, it isn’t easy to keep your eyes on God without having a church home – far from it. I know from experience.

Church was a regular part of life when I was growing up but my family strayed away after my Granddaddy passed away. I still went with my Grandma for awhile but by middle school I pretty much didn’t attend except for special occasions and this continued for most of my adult life. God was not a priority and I aimed to take care of myself. That doesn’t mean I didn’t believe.  I have always believed in Him without a doubt and prayed for others but I didn’t feel my life was worthy of His grace. I experienced a lot of pain and trials in my life - the death of the love of my life and my baby girl’s Daddy, an abusive relationship, other hurtful relationships, financial struggles, loneliness and one disappointment or hardship after another. I tried to make life right and find real happiness to spread over my children and my life but no matter what choice I made I just couldn’t get things right.  After my divorce I found myself close to my mid 30’s still waiting for life to happen for me. I have two beautiful children that I love with all my heart; however, my life had no substance other than them.  For 17 years my life had pretty much been going through the motions…being away from home 12+ hours a day commuting to D.C. to earn enough to support us payday to payday, raising my babies alone, settling for relationships to try to create a whole family and ending up feeling more alone that when I was single.  Not only that but I was hurting that I wasn’t able to give my children all the things kids should have. Money was tight which meant no vacations or nights out and with the commute my time was limited and I was always tired so most days quality time wasn’t much more than the daily routine of eating dinner, doing homework, baths, bed and importantly we had a broken family and as hard as I tried to be both Mom and Dad I knew I wasn’t providing all they needed. My saving grace was my loving and supportive parents to help fill the gap. Once I found myself single again I reflected on my life and was determined to turn it around. I was lost. I had no direction and was always hitting dead ends. My thoughts took me back to my childhood and my Grandparents. They were hard working, God fearing, Bible believing people that lived humbly and I always felt a sense of security, comfort, joy and peace with them. I suddenly grasped it wasn’t just because they were my Grandparents who loved me. It was because they had a relationship with our Heavenly Father that gave them strength and comfort to get them through anything and that carried over into their love and caring for their family.  Their love of God instilled so many values in me that I had set by the wayside and they had finally resurfaced! A light came on and I knew without a doubt what was missing in my life and I was determined to keep God in front of me instead of on a shelf only to take down when I needed Him. I dusted off my Bible and set out to seek Him.  It was hard and I wasn’t getting very far alone but God’s timing is always right on time and my dear friends had started attending a nearby church and I decided to join them.  

Sunday, January 23, 2011

The Coffey Cafe is Now Open ,,,

I'm always jotting down random thoughts, taking notes and reading things other people have written so I decided it was time to try my hand at a blog. When I take the time to write it helps me think better and deeper and it ends up being very therapeutic and introspective.  Taking the time to collect all the random thoughts floating around in my head and organize them on paper helps me learn and more easily realize my mistakes, my strengths and my weaknesses.  So, here it is....a place to share what I think and reflect on. I'm by no means a great writer, I don't always use proper grammar, punctuation or fancy words and all I intend here is to write like I speak in hopes that when I sit down and study God's word or deal with issues going on in my life that putting my thoughts into written form will be a journey of learning, provide some self therapy and engage others in some conversations.  Conversations that will contribute to even further learning and self discovery for both!  I don't know how often I will write or what exactly I will write about and depending on my mood some posts will be short and some will be long.  Whatever the case may be if you want to stop by to read or comment I want to welcome you to the Coffey CafĂ©, a place to sit, relax and just chit chat about life or other random thoughts.  I hope you enjoy the journey with me!